After I grieved, the emptiness was still there but how else could it have been as I lived my life through the prism of my many traumas, limiting beliefs and self-deception.
The more I sought excellence, the more I sabotaged my sentimental life. I was still not accomplished and my discomfort was still present, I was still on the defensive, always ready to bite, I was overwhelmed with anger, injustice.
I grew up with an alcoholic, violent and manipulative father. I have been belittled, neglected and unloved.
As a child, to protect myself, I buried what I felt and cut off most of my emotions.
I had been going through crises in my relationship for years. Like a vicious circle, always at a time when everything seems to be going well, a harmless argument that turns into a crisis.
